


Spiteful Pride

by snarkhive



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-02-29 13:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18779611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkhive/pseuds/snarkhive
Summary: After one of the most humiliating moments of Severus's life, he starts planning what he deems a rightful retaliation. There's no way that could go wrong.





	Spiteful Pride

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Stacey for teaching me how to use this site.
> 
> I'm still not sure where exactly I'm going to take this story. I'm just having fun.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is my first fanfic.  
> Another disclaimer: English isn't my first language so there will be mistakes.
> 
> Note that the title of this work will most likely change when I come up with a better one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a prologue than a proper chapter. I might go over this again and edit it some more.

Lily insisted on staying with Severus so she could be with him when he woke up. She stroked her friend's hair absent-mindedly while the scene kept replaying itself over and over in her head.

_“Let him down!”_

_“Don’t make me hex you, too.”_

_“Oi!”_

_A flash. Blood splattered on the ground. A half a second later, Severus was up in the air again._

_Lily made up her mind. She sprinted towards the castle only to run into professor McGonagall, who was rushing to the grounds with Regulus Black on her tail._

_“Mr. Potter, what in the name of Merlin do you think you’re doing?”_

_Severus’s body fell with a thump._

The light hurt Severus's eyes as he opened them. His throat was on fire and he felt like the weight of the entire castle was stacked on his lungs.

Seeing his best friend made him feel a little lighter. But there was still 

"I saw you- I saw you run away. I thought you- I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

Lily swept a few stray hairs away from her friend's forehead. "I was going to get a teacher. Turns out, Regulus Black got there first. And thank Merlin he did. I would have been too late, no doubt."

"Regulus saw everything?" His voice broke.

"He wasn't there for most of it. Why?" 

"We're friends. I think. I mean, he _knows_ , and- and he was cool with it so- I'd rather not be humiliated in front of him, you know? In case we could become friends or something." Severus had to swallow after every few words to prevent his voice from fading into a whisper.

Lily gave an understanding nod. She was happy that Severus was friendly with someone else. The happiness quickly faded away once Severus addressed the inevitable. 

"How's the school handling this one?"

Lily bit the inside of her cheek. She wasn't sure how to break the news to Severus. The incident was passed off as nothing but unauthorised duelling on school grounds, which James took too far. He had been the only one to get punished. So far.

"Am I in trouble?"

Lily squeezed Severus's hand. "I don't know."

Neither of them made a sound. As the seconds passed, Lily's grip on Severus's hand had loosened, and her fingers just lay there, still, unsure of whether they should hold onto him or move away.

"I'd like to be alone, please."

"Sev-"

"Please."

I'd like to be alone. After years of knowing Severus, Lily hadn't quite figured out what Severus meant when he said that. She only knew that it made Lily feel like a failure. She was just trying to help. Trying and trying and each time he looked at her with that hollow look in his eyes, she felt she hadn't done enough. Lily's attempts were never enough. And frankly, she was getting tired of trying. He couldn't expect her to be a friend, a parent, and a therapist all at once. She was only 16 and she had her own life, too. Was she being selfish? Did this make her a horrible friend? Probably, she thought. None of Severus's problems were her fault. Yes, she pitied him. She loved him. But maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe the only thing that would put an end to Severus's, and by extension, Lily's, misery, was getting rid of what caused all the problems in the first place. In other words, it would never happen. So they were stuck with it. Two more years, Lily thought. Just two more years and they could put everything behind them, together or separately.

* * *

He could kill them. It would require lots of effort and land him in Azkaban for the rest of his life but in his lingering high of pure anger he needed a release. He had physically harmed Potter by just swinging his wand and thinking how much he wanted to hurt him. If that alone was enough to shed some blood… There was potential for a deadly spell there. Severus wondered if he could recreate it with the same result.

Murder would be an overreaction, but at least in Severus’s mind, it was not completely uncalled for.

It's more of the fact he _exists_. He couldn’t exist in peace as long as those boys were around. The solution was simple enough. It was either his tormentors or Severus himself. And realistically, what were the chances of Pettigrew or Lupin doing something without Potter or Black? Or maybe, maybe all that was required was to break the group apart. Severus could make Lupin’s lycanthropy school-wide information. Surely some worried parent would want a werewolf far away from their child. And even if no one believed that, there was still the fact that Remus was bi, which could stir things up within the friend group. Finally something to get Severus some leverage. And all because of a few silly handjobs.

He stayed awake for hours plotting his revenge. Finally, Severus had power, too. 

* * *

Remus didn’t sleep that night, either. His mind kept taking him back against his will. He wished he could wipe the image of seeing Snape floating up in the air, more exposed than Remus had ever seen him. Things had gone too far. And he was going to pay for it. Just a week ago his biggest worries had been the O.W.L exams and the fact that Snape had, in a way, broken up with him. And still he had been so confident that night, meeting Snape in their favourite spot, convinced that the boy had changed his mind and wanted to resume their adventures. 

“I was surprised to get your note. I thought you weren’t, what was it, ah, some queer comforter for me to go back to every time I need validation.”

“Save it,” Severus spat.

Remus stopped on his tracks. He felt like a vulture circling around the remains of their relationship, looking for something to keep himself from starving. He was astonished Severus would even speak to him, albeit even harsher than usual. 

Remus loathed the Slytherin but he still found his body responding to his words. Now was not the time to talk. With Severus, it never was. And Remus preferred it that way. He didn’t need to think about who he was with and why. He hated Severus. And yet, Remus found himself a victim of the Slytherin's questionable charm. 

Was he attracted to him? Merlin, no. But he liked boys. Severus was an ugly, nasty boy, who badmouthed Remus every chance he got, but he was a boy, a _gay_ boy, and that alone was enough to erase all of the bastard’s flaws. Remus hated himself every time he thought about their secret encounters. He felt disgusting. He knew there was no excuse good enough to justify his _queer_ activities with the slimy git to his friends, but it didn’t matter.

Remus kept telling himself he was an exception. He was not one of _those_ guys. He liked girls, too. Maybe even more than he liked boys. If and when his little adventures with Severus came to an end, he could find a girl. Someone who was nice, unlike Severus, and pretty, unlike Severus. A girl, who, instead of spitting insults at Remus when his lips had nothing better to do, would appreciate him for who he was.

There was a flip side to this, of course. No girl could ever touch him like Severus did. No one could run their fingers through Remus’s hair while leaving soft kisses on his neck and jawline, making him almost beg for closer contact. Not as well as Severus did, anyway. 

“I just want to talk.”

Talk. That sounded far less exciting than the images playing around in Remus’s head. Talking, especially with Severus, didn’t offer much, if any, satisfaction.

“Have you told anyone I’m gay?” Severus was speaking softly now. He was avoiding Remus’s gaze as if it was a wand pointed at his face.

Remus knew exactly why Severus was asking that. James had thought it would be hilarious to write a four-verse song about how much of a loser Severus was. But it had been Sirius who came up with the line that had made him question whether Remus had kept his promise of pretending that nothing had ever happened between the two. It was Remus’s turn to avoid eye contact. He was still ashamed of letting things escalate like they did, making Severus think Remus had outed him out of spite.

“Of course not.”

Severus stood straight. “Good. And I’d like you to know that I have more dirt on you than you have on me.”

Remus scoffed.

“I know what you do once a month, _Moony_.”

“How did you-?”

“Those friends of yours don’t seem very concerned about the sanctity of your secret, coming up with stupid nicknames and having no problem yelling them out in public. But that’s no surprise, really, considering the homophobic subtext of their latest hit and-”  
  
“Enough!”

Severus’s lip curled. Any attraction Remus had ever felt for him was gone, and all that was left was hatred. 

“I’m not going to let you demonize my friends. The only one not concerned about the sanctity of anything is you, Snivellus. You- you disgust me.”

“I know, I know, because I’m a dirty fag who ruined you. Your secrets are safe with me. As long as you don’t cross any lines. That’s all.”

Remus felt cold. He hated Snape. He hated him for bringing up things from the past and making subtle changes to win the argument. Sure, Remus had said Snape had ruined him, but only because it was true. He had never, never called Snape a homophobic slur, even though he almost deserved it. Snape was an ugly, nasty, manipulative boy, who Remus should never have gotten involved with. Besides, he was a boy. And that alone was enough to guarantee his friends’ disapproval.

Remus buried his face in the soft pillow. He didn’t know how he could break the news to the other Marauders. Snape knew. And he was pissed. Maybe it was time for the truth. Snape was going to tell everyone anyway so Remus could at least come out to his friend himself. Maybe, if he wasn’t such a coward.

* * *

 


End file.
